Been trying for an hour to think of something profound to say.  Old habits die slowly.  The past few days have been bouncy.  I’ve had some wonderful connections with God and with people, and one major incident that left me hurt and confused.  (Wish I could tell you about it, but I’m afraid it would only add to the confusion.)

Martin Luther said, “Where God builds a church, the enemy soon builds a chapel.”   That’s probably the case.  Bobo spent yesterday with me.  I’ve known him since he was a ten year old kid, and now at nineteen he’s a gifted musician and worship leader with the tender heart of a servant.   I’ll bet God sent him my way just to encourage me.   He does things like that.

Last night we had a farewell party for Laura, a small gathering of old friends who have worked and played together since 1998. We’ve been through thick and thin, heaven and hell, and become like a family in the process. And this particular gathering felt especially sweet as we laughed and cried over the shared stories.

I can’t imagine the comraderie of soldiers in battle being any sweeter and tighter than the love among missionaries who serve together over the long haul. It’s one of the great rewards of serving the Kingdom in uncharted territory. And it’s sad to think of leaving such wonderful companions so soon.

Jenny, Merle, Dani, Laura, (Me), and Carolyn

“First you own things, and then things own you.” I started packing up my apartment this week, picking through letters, keepsakes, and balls of string while my friends are in town visiting over coffee. I REALLY want to be free from the tyranny of this stuff.

“Take care to keep yourselves free from the desire for property; for a man’s life is not made up of the number of things which he has.” (Luke 12:15)

I just did a little re-write of “Random Thoughts” (August 10). Too much attitude in the original post, and I’m not sure how accurately it portrayed the Father. Old stereotypes die slowly, and I suppose I’ll always be wrestling with that prideful know-it-all who’s forever trying to take over my body.

Some new and old friends at the dinner table.

Been thinking about these global-warming-catastophic-weather-change-disasters, and wondering if we’re not approaching it from exactly the wrong direction. Obviously God has commissioned us to care for the earth, and abusing it will inevitably invite disaster. But in generations past these sorts of things would lead us to examine ourselves and ask God, “Why?”

Today’s media, and most of our global warming gurus have removed God from the picture entirely. And I’m afraid many of us in the Christian community are likely to fall into one of two errors: Either we become discipled by media and pass over the fact that our tender, yet almighty Father is intimately involved in His universe. Or we take the religious bail-out and presume that global warming is just another inevitable sign of the times: why should we care about these things when Jesus will surely be returning in the next couple of years, anyway?

Hopefully we’ll find a better, more Biblical approach.

Clay, Graham, and I launched a guys discipleship group this week. Five Bosnian believers, three of us Americans, and Terry (a dear Brit friend), in attendance. And it was a great kick-off. Lots of good discussion, prayer, and Spirit-life running through the group. I’m very hopeful, and ever encouraged with the growth I see in Alen, Alen, (remember there are two of them), Ahmed, George, and Kenan.

It’s probably not too soon to mention that I’ll be leaving Sarajevo the beginning of October, and possibly not returning. I’m still committed to missions and making disciples of the nations, but I’ll be spending six months in the States on a furlough of sorts while I ask the Lord to talk to me about the next step. It won’t be easy to leave so many dear friends, nor to give up the small apartment that’s become home for me. So your prayers will be appreciated.

I arrived home in Sarajevo late Saturday evening after an exhausting eighteen hour trip from Romania. But I’m very glad to be home.

Yesterday afternoon the Evangelical churches of Sarajevo sponsored a joint service together. (We do that several times per year. ) The congregation was smaller again, with probably about two hundred in attendance. But I came away hopeful for the first time in several years. A good chunk of our time was spent in prayer, beginning with partners, then in small groups, and finally with the whole church praying about such things as unity, leadership, evangelism, and strategy for reaching the nation.

One very sad note was added to the meeting when we prayed for the victims of the early morning fire in a downtown Sarajevo orphanage. I doubt it’ll get much coverage in the western media, but our last is that thirteen babies and infants have died with another ten or so hospitalized.

I wish I could understand why God would allow a tragedy like this to snuff out the lives of Sarajevo’s only innocent people. But along with the Virginia Tech massacre, and nearly two hundred civilians perishing in suicide bombings in one day in Iraq, I just can’t. So much of the world grieves me these days. I wish the tares were not growing alongside the kingdom that is here, and “not-yet.” But the promise remains strong in my heart that one day the Father of Jesus will remove from the good wheat all that offends.

Been sick since returning from my travels to Romania and England last week. I was so anxious to be back in my own bed again, only now to be confined to my apartment around the clock. (It’s just a bad chest cold, and I think it’s finally turned a corner today).

It’s occurred to me that one of the things that keeps me from updating my website and blog more regularly is a gnarly bent towards perfectionism. I slave away for hours over a couple of paragraphs because I want them to be profound, well constructed snapshots of my life. The obvious problem here is that is my life is neither well-constructed, nor profound. Case in point: I began my trip by missing the one and only train from Sarajevo to Budapest, and finished it by missing my flight from England. (I went to the wrong airport!) So why pretend to have it together?

Busses, trains, and airports are not my friends. I just hate to travel these days. But students and young people are always the carrot at the end of the stick. Last night as I was pouring over travel plans for my next trip, (Leaving for Macedonia and Romania again this Sunday), I asked the Lord, “Is all this really worth it?” Really, it’s expensive, hazardous, and inconvenient. Why can’t I just spend my time loving people right here in Sarajevo? I didn’t hear any audible voice, but He reminded me of Leah, who came up to me after class in Romania. After completing a missions degree at a respected Christian college and serving for more than a year on the Romanian mission field, she said, “I just wanted to thank you for teaching us about the kingdom today. I’ve been thinking there must be more to all this than what I knew.” Or even my good buddy, Larry, back home. He says, “Well Don, if the kingdom is all that, then how come you seem to be the only person I know who’s preaching it?”

The Romanians captured my heart again with their warmth and affection. They have a gift of making everyone feel like a part of the family.

England, on the other hand, takes your breath away with it’s beauty and style. Both countries reflect a unique aspect of God’s glory.

The English school was my first chance to teach for a whole week on the kingdom. Typically I do three days on Biblical Worldview, and then spend two days developing the worldview of the Kingdom. It’s a good study in contrast between the death and destruction of (for instance) Communism, Postmodernism, and Islam, and the beauty and life of the Kingdom. But this time I had a whole week to develop the glories of the kingdom. Wasn’t sure, at first, if I’d have enough material. But by the week’s end I was wishing for more time.

So… today the sun is shining in Sarajevo, my cold is beginning to break, and I plan on getting out of this stinking apartment and meeting some friends in town for coffee.

I returned to Sarajevo on February 7th after a humming three months in the States. It’s always amazing to me, when I’m in America, the opportunities God opens up for concerts, programs, and ministry. And this trip was no exception. It made me wonder if perhaps I ought to be taking my musical gifts more seriously. It certainly meant little rest at home, and a pace that kept me in constant motion.

But now I’m back in Bosnia, and the time for talking about these things has passed. My return was surprisingly smooth, with none of the despair and hopelessness that typically clobbers me before I’ve unpacked my suitcases. But this time was different. It’s not an external thing, as if Sarajevo has suddenly been hit with a surge of hope, but rather an internal posture of my own heart which seems to have found a deeper place of rest. There’s a new confidence in my spirit that God really can use me here. And it feels wonderfully good.

Recently I came across this quote that sums up something of what I’m seeing:

“The … work of the non-professional missionary is essentially to live his daily life in Christ, and therefore with a difference, and to be able to explain, or at least to state, the reason and cause of the difference to men who see it… His preaching is essentially private conversation, and has at the back of it facts, facts of a life which explain and illustrate and enforce his words… It is such missionary work, done consciously and deliberately, that the world needs today. Everybody, Christian and pagan alike, respects such work; and, when it is so done, men wonder, and inquire into the secret of a life which they instinctively admire and covet for themselves… The spirit which inspires love of others and efforts after their well-being, both in body and soul, they cannot but admire and covet–unless, indeed, seeing that it would reform their own lives, they dread and hate it, because they do not desire to be reformed. In either case, it works. (Roland Allen 1869-1947)

Bosnian friends appear to be doing well. Though most are still afraid of dreaming, I see them inching forward with provisional plans and trial hopes. My call, as I see it, is to resume my post of pointing out the realities of God’s kingdom and the unlimited potential of His dream .